The Big Heart

Big heart, wide as a watermelon,

but wise as birth,

there is so much abundance

in the people I have:

Max, Lois, Joe, Louise,

Joan, Marie, Dawn,

Arlene, Father Dunne,

and all in their short lives

give to me repeatedly,

in the way the sea

places its many fingers on the shore,

again and again

and they know me,

they help me unravel,

they listen with ears made of conch shells,

they speak back with the wine of the best region.

They are my staff.

They comfort me

They hear how

the artery of my soul has been severed

and soul is spurting out upon them,

bleeding on them,

messing up their clothes,

dirtying their shoes.

And God is filling me,

though there are times of doubt

as hollow as the Grand Canyon,

still God is filling me.

He is giving me the thoughts of dogs,

the spider in its intricate web,

the sun

in all its amazement,

and a slain ram

that is the glory,

the mystery of great cost,

and my heart,

which is very big,

I promise it is very large,

a monster of sorts,

takes it all in--

all in comes the fury of love.

Anne Sexton

U N E X P E C T E D... ...

So long already and have not write anything here.....those days has been happened to me and got to accpet this fate. Yeah I do admit that it was too suddenly and everything was not prepared for this. I also not planned for this to become as one....

Been faced alot of stress and upset....even I was told to be happy to know that I am p........

Even many things I cannot do this and that.... also cannot eat this and that.... especially japanese food such as sushi or salmon...

Also cannot eat curry fish or curry chicken or carrot or blah.... I am gonna to miss them for 9-10 months lor.. I cannot wait longer...

It has been about 2 weeks already.. I have learnt to accpet it and start to prepare things to get ready before this newly will entre this world. *sweating* Poor my dear cannot do housework well and I cannot do such as moving things at home and cannot do heavy works.

My heart is going to feel very pain and been feel alot of helpless... really did not know what to do with this and that... Gonna to learn abit and abit slowly... sigh...

Having BLACK time at Forever21 ?

Went to Forever21 outlet at orchard to see any latest trend clothes of spring collection....The moment I entered this F21 shop, there is nothing change and almost the same since it was offically opened few years back then.

Used to like some clothes at Forever21 due to nicer design clothes but now...everything clothes in Forever 21 is quite steep...must say abit expensive compared to those clothes at such as Zara and Mango outlets. Till now, I never buy anything clothes from Forever21 as nowsdays designed clothes are getting more duller and duller.

For example....some plain tops with some little designed but yet it costs range $38.00 to $55.00. Some tops with material did not come in good handy and wont last longer to wear. Most shorts or skirts also costs above $45.00 - $68.00. Admit to say...kinda faint when see the prices of items everything there.

I even tired the black top and checkered short at Forever21 changing room.. guess the total price of 2 items.

It is $76.00...just for 2 pieces only.

If I have $76.00, I can eventually spend it to buy 3 - 4 clothes at either Bugis Village or Far East Plaza somemore.

The next hunt will be at ZARA or MANGO outlet someday. Now is Spring Collection 2007 so must catch every clothes trend to see any unqiue designs.

Love Home-Cooked Curry Chicken

Love Home-Cooked Curry Chicken was specially prepared by my dear who could cook this as I did not know to cook curry something like this. Gonna to start learning how to cook curry one day.

Everydays except weekends, I always cook home dinner for my dear after his work and never like to eat outside as it is not my likings and somemore the food price will steep up from $3.00 to $4.00 one day for sure. Everything is controlled by government - sick of this actually. So we may save more to buy cheap & nice food from NTUC back home to cook at home. So simple will do.






Crispy whole chicken for 2-3 persons but my dear ate 2/3 of this while I ate only 1/3 because I ate alot of curry veggy.









Realised my camera was not working that time and photo turns out so blur and not very clearly. This picture taken during 1st day of CNY.

Now my camera is recovered from surgery, hahaha....

Yummy.... my dear gave me this piece and it was easier for me to eat this with fork and spoon, no need use hands lah.

Actually we had dinner at living room near television because he wanted to watch his favourite show every evening times. So what to do... give him in abit lah.

His Relatives Side

Yesterday my dear asked me to go with him to meet his big and small aunties together for lunch. When I heard this, I had a little frightened and did not know what to do. And then I was trying to tell him that I did not want to go but no choice :((

**When I was young, I disliked to go out with relatives & family together for lunch or dinner together and trying to excuse myself to play or sit somewhere.**

So we went to Tampines area to fetch 2 aunties to East Point mall at Simei for lunch together and I tried very very ....hard to smile and communicate with them. I not sure if they barely understand the basic of english. Nevermind about this seriously, I just said HI to them and they also said this to me. Also the big auntie was shocked to see me so tall and asked me how tall I am. I mentioned 1.70cm and she laughed so sweety to say she is 1.75cm. Learnt that she is baby sitter.

Ahead to restaurant at east point mall, sorry i forget the name of this...... we ate together and my dear talked to them while I just sat down silently to watch them. Poor my dear had to be interpreter to me what aunties wanted to ask me or talked to me. They said that my dear was very naughty when he was young. I knew this already long ago yet he claimed he was good boy in the past, hahahahaha.... He was told to be true to me and or else it is hard to find good girl like me like this ah... I laughed at him.

After that we went to my dear's cousin, Elaine at her home, simei which is so so so near to my home, alamak.. surprised indeed. Also visited her cute & fashion baby girl, Chloe barely 2 months old. Guess what I saw - Elaine colored abit to Chloe's hair brown copper and also wore pink baby tee with words said "My rock mummy". So so sooooooo cute... I bought Elaine a big set of baby sheet for Chloe.

We all chatted together and talked and joked laughs together for almost 3 hours then we came to our home to visit. Elaine and small auntie could not believe that I am doing clothes business despite of my current disadvantage condition. They have seen alot of pretty & nice clothes and wanted to try them. Funny.. look at small aunt dared to wear them. It amazed me... Nice... Poor small auntie that she liked this pretty art mod vintage blue dress but it could not fit her and too sexy for her auntie age. Yet she said dont care and wanted to wear this. hahahaha... We all laughed at her so funny to talk like this.

Till 7pm, my dear sent them home and I rushed to prepare dinner to cook. before that, I watched channel 8 - central affair part 2 which is the best HK drama. Thanks god that everything went smoothly, ya.... :))

Hope is the thing...

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

- Emily Dickinson

We Lost In Big Jungle

Last night, we watched Man United and Liverpool together. And we were all frightened and prayed to have a goal despite of MU's shot only 4 while Liverpool's shot 14 which is more lot already. We almost went to sleep as we would go for running ar MacRitches Reservoir today. In end we stayed on and saw the free kick by Ronaldo and miracle came after O Shea found the right spot to score a goal to lead 12 points gap away from Chelsea in EPL table.

We rushed back to bed to sleep as got to wake up at 6.30am...sunday morning mah... Before head off to MacRitches Reservoir, I asked my dear if he knows the map well there or not.. If not later we lost there how.. sweating... Then he kept assumed me saying "dont worry, dear. I know the route to run." It was such a relief to me at first place.

Then when we reached there and saw car park full and see alot of marathon runners and cyclists there. Never know it is such so many people and it did not affect us anyway either. Lucky we found to park there. Then we walked to the map to see where to run... this area is so....sososososososos big and got few colors routes which state the distances to run.
Example: Pink Route: 2.4km, Black Route: 4.7km, Green Route: 9.0km, Yellow Route: 11.5km and Orange Route: 18km.

When I looked at this map, my mind went blank and blur... not sure of which route directions to lead us to run. I had been there once during my cross-country championship for my Boon Lay Secondary School only then after this, I never go there ever again. Till now today, when I was there and could not remember which route where I ran before with my cross-country team during my ECA days. That was long ago already.

My dear kept asking me which one should we go running then I stared back at him to say that I cannot be too sure and tried our luck to run anyhow after memoried the route on map. Also we followed the path as well. We ran till the most difficult was the path turned out wet, slippery,muddy, alot of stones and alot of trees everywhere. Still got people running this routes. I started to frown to say is it correct route ah.

I nearly fell but lucky I managed to balance & control and we kept running. We ran on wooden paths near reservoir and saw the army marathon runners and asked them for help where is the way out. He told us to run about 4km more to reach there. So we ran till we reached at somewhere which got tall building and map said golf trails, we seemed lost them and did not know which routes to go back. Then we ended up scolding each other in biggest jungle and I was too frightened as I disliked the eerie sound there. I screamed at my dear to find ways out and faster to walk & run. All I want to be safe and sound, yet my dear told me to be relax at quite jungle huh..

Guess what happened next...we ended up at dead end which is at golf country club which is very far away from MacRitches Reservoir. Extremely hot and tired. Started run at 8am and ended almost 10am something. My running shoes was spolit. Then we approached to country club staffs for help to call taxi to bring us back there.

Our legs was very very very painful and really aching everywhere... we had breakfast together then ahead home to rest. Today was our first time happening to experience something like this. I told him that I will never go there ever again.

My running shoes had been with me since late 2004 that I started running. Used to be cross country runner for BLSS 1998-1999 then other track & field 1998 - 2001.

This shoes is actually has some sentimentals to me and I could not bear to throw them away. First: my dear bought this for me to start running again to stay fit, second: it left me a great feeling after I completed run 10km of Army Half Marathon & Sheare Bridge 2006 with my dear and last one: finally finished 10km women run of Standard Chartered Marathon 2006 clocked in 1hr 12mins and 35secs.

Those black parts were come out or dropped somewhere at MacRitches Reservoir. Sad....

Again my dear bought this new pair of Adidas running shoes for me today. Switched branded to adidas from long time Nike.

Trying to get used to this new pair and will going to start running again after my legs recover.

Only about $85.00 after given discount 10%.

I love this color.

Sole based is nice color and light and stronger than my old Nike running shoes.

Hope it will help me better for my next 21km run coming in August 2007.

The Word of God

Catherine Faber - The Word of God

From desert cliff and mountaintop we trace the wide design,
Strike-slip fault and overthrust and syn and anticline...
We gaze upon creation where erosion makes it known,
And count the countless aeons in the banding of the stone.
Odd, long-vanished creatures and their tracks & shells are found;
Where truth has left its sketches on the slate below the ground.
The patient stone can speak, if we but listen when it talks.
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote the rocks.

There are those who name the stars,
who watch the sky by night, Seeking out the darkest place, to better see the light.
Long ago, when torture broke the remnant of his will,
Galileo recanted, but the Earth is moving still
High above the mountaintops, where only distance bars,
The truth has left its footprints in the dust between the stars.
We may watch and study or may shudder and deny,
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote the sky.

By stem and root and branch we trace, by feather, fang and fur,
How the living things that are descend from things that were.
The moss, the kelp, the zebrafish, the very mice and flies,
These tiny, humble, wordless things -- how shall they tell us lies?
We are kin to beasts; no other answer can we bring.
The truth has left its fingerprints on every living thing.
Remember, should you have to choose between them in the strife,
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote life.

And we who listen to the stars, or walk the dusty grade
Or break the very atoms down to see how they are made,
Or study cells, or living things, seek truth with open hand.
The profoundest act of worship is to try to understand.
Deep in flower and in flesh, in star and soil and seed,
The truth has left its living word for anyone to read.
So turn and look where best you think the story is unfurled.
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote the world.